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Thursday, November 30, 2006

Maristel blogs: Confused Mind

Tell me if I'm confused or not... Was just wondering lately... OH!!! I just dunno... I've been having these weird thoughts... Undescribable... Undefinable... Am I being a fool? A lunatic?! Woah! I just don't see this coming... Far more worse that what I am feeling before... Lately, I know, I'm getting to be more affable... I guess and I believe I am... I love it! Simply loves it! It was like everything's making a sense... Being comparable, am I... I am not...

It's just that I'm beginning to see myself in a more distant way than I am before... I hope to see this on the brighter side... The positive way... But just as I was doing that and beginning to love every moment of it, circumstances just go and come way out of hand. From being happy and all - again I'm back and down to being malancholic... Sober... Well, I know that's one of the colors of the rainbow that connects me to life, but sometimes things just happen all over again and made me think that,,, WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? Do I deserve this?

Waaahh.. A lot of Q's are now running inside my mind.. I can't even catch up with 'em.. How I wish I could... But just couldn't.. Sadness.. Emptiness.. Feeling of rejection.. Wanting and Needing to be LOVED.. Am I alright?!? Or am just SICK.. Tell me..! Sick mind! Nah!

Nuthin... My mind's havin' this sort of rumblings.. Kindda like I want to do this.. that.. But i don't know how to start it?! The guy that I'm now keepin to myself (whoever he is) is here.. But.. Uhmmm..

I dunno..... We talked last night... We had this some sort of talk last night... Goshness! Kindda like "I have this feeling of wanting to see him..."... It was like we had this "tampuhan" for like weeks - almost a month... And honestly... I'VE MISSED the DEVIL in him... I'am an Angel and he's no Angel for me... *lolz* Oh My! I'm beginning to hate this feeling..

Anyone? Help me please... *lolz*


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