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Thursday, November 02, 2006

Gee blogs: BLUE and RED

The darkness comes,
Light fades away.
And I must end,
Another day.
No light to share,
The hope away.
It stays and grows,
Till another day.
Moonlight shines,
Asking love to stay.
But it is gone,
With the coming day.
Silently waiting,
My life away.
Hoping I'll find it,

This Day! I never thought it would be dramatic... Yes, DRAMATIC!

Jobel invited me to go to their house. Actually, pakana ni JM. 4 lang daw kami; Jobel, JM, Philipp and Me. I was like? Whatta??? I kinda feel na it will be an intimate talk. It was last night when I started to wonder. Bakit 4 lang kami? Bakit sa room pa ni Jobel? Bakit parang ako lang ang hindi nakakaalam kung bakit kami mag-uusap?

May nagawa ba akong mali? May nagawa ba ang isa sa amin against someone? How deep is it?

Lots of inquisitions... But then, it turned out to be na, PARA SA AKIN ANG TALK NA IYON. May nagawa siya sa akin, nang hindi ko alam...

I don't wanna put details, it's not important for me...

These are my reflections:

** I felt stupid! Ignorant... IDIOT! You know that, lahat na sila alam, ako na lang pala ang hindi... Nakakahiya! Nakakainis!
** I felt unaccepted. They are my friends. They know me. I know they're openminded, just like me... Pero, I just have this feeling na their saying things againts me... Well, I can't blame them... Ako yun! Sila yun!
**I felt unrespected. Was it my fault? I've encountered that event not once. What does it mean?
** I felt like a b**tch. Oh well, why me?
** I felt like a loser! Yes loser! Darn! I hate expecting eh... Pero HE was convincing...
** I was so disappointed! Goodluck to him!

On the other hand.... after realizing the other side...

** I am touched! Yes we are friends for 7 years... And I can't beleive that a friend confessed me something... It is clearly seen that he is afraid that our friendship shall be ruined by a STUPID act...
** I feel loved! I was not unrespected... In fact, I think he did it as a sign of his reverence for me, as his friend, as a woman, and as a HUMAN.
** I was wrong for accusing myself such words above. I should clear their intentions firsts...
** I felt accepted. Yes, I still do! They are one of teh bestest people in the word. ** I am not a loser! I'm a winner... and also. They've won my heart. Again! But this time, it's for a lifetime!


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