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Friday, October 27, 2006

Maristel blogs: Happy Days

Funny as everyone sees me... Well, I am... Funny in a way, loves to joke around - even when inside I am hurting, loves each memento mori... Wow! I've said too many ways as to how I see myself funny. But funny is much to different from happy.

For so - so many times, I was such a fool for loving someone I know, I will never really call "mine"... But what I always say... And I think I've used it too many times and ended up asking myself, "Darn! When am I going to use that phrase for myself?" I've mentioned it too many times to someone who'll approach me and asked me, how they're gonna live without that someone that they've loved all their lives...Well, hell yeah! Now... I can say or even shout it to the world that "Hey! (A'las!) Time healed all my wounds!" And it really feels good havin' to release to all those pent up emotions that I've been keeping inside myself for years, years, encumbered years!

As to the many people I've met and have known me from the start... Unbelievable as they will always acknowledge me from hearing those "yada yada yada" stuffs... Now, I say... Believe this or not, I have finally let go of that someone! Someone that I've been longing for years. Someone that I've been dreaming to be with me. Someone that I've seen myself growin' old with...

The word itself has too many definitions... Too many reasons for loving... Too many reasons why a certain person becomes gloomy... Too many explanations why keep on pretending just for the word "LOVE" and say "yes, I'm in love" when inside it isn't... Call me a penchant for romance and courtship... Traditional ain't it? But, at my age - to be honest I still do have these "kilig" moments for reasons I don't know how to justify... I may be a li'l shallow when it comes to love, but I guess everyone is... I'm not over that phase yet, but hey!

Feels like I'm at my best and it's conspicuous... I'M HAPPY and "GOD, I love the feeling!"


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